Being Healthy

January 2013 I was diagnosed with PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). The only symptoms I had at the time of diagnosis was irregular periods, acne (I had never had it before), and a painful cyst pretty much every cycle. I had dealt with cysts on my ovaries since I was 16 so when I heard the diagnosis of PCOS I thought "okay that makes sense" I have always gotten cysts so this was an explanation for that. Little did I know PCOS is so much more than having cysts. In fact, a lot of people who are diagnosed have never even had a problem cyst.

 Like I said in my last post, my health has really declined in the last 6 months or so. I have gained a good 30 pounds since last November, most of the weight was gained in a 6 month period. I find myself exhausted at the end of a work day. I was sleeping any chance I got. I would sit down to watch a movie with John on a Sunday afternoon and no matter how hard I tried I would fall asleep within 10 minutes. On top of that, physically, I am just drained most days. I can be irritable (poor John). My anxiety can get out of control. I wanted answers, I just dealt with it for quite a while, but then realized it was not normal. I went and saw a Doctor again, and she explained to me that some of these symptoms are probably attributed to PCOS and the medications I was currently on.

After meeting with her I started researching a lot about it and learned that everything I am suffering from is simply because I have PCOS and I have not been treating it correctly. It's something that should be taken very seriously and I really haven't.. at all. PCOS is actually pretty common. 1 in 10 women have it, and the symptoms can affect everyone completely different.

PCOS is not just "having cysts on your ovaries." PCOS is an endocrine system disorder.

"The endocrine system is a network of glands that produce and release hormones that help control many important body functions, especially the body's ability to change calories into energy that powers cells and organs. The endocrine system influences how your heart beats, how your bones and tissues grow, even your ability to make a baby. It plays a vital role in whether or not you develop diabetes, thyroid disease, growth disorders, sexual dysfunction, and a host of other hormone-related disorders." -WebMD

PCOS completely affects my hormones. Especially insulin. Which is why a lot of women who have PCOS are also diabetic (thankfully I have not gotten to this point). My body does not use sugar the way it's supposed to. This explains the weight i've gained. After meeting with a hormone specialist and getting my blood work done, it was completely obvious that my hormones were out of wack. I did not have even one test come back in the "normal" target range. This explains the exhaustion, depression (I've dealt with this for years so never thought it could be linked with PCOS), anxiety, and everything else that has been making me miserable for the last year or more. PCOS can also cause "male" hair growth, like facial or chest hair, it can cause infertility, can lead to diabetes if not taken seriously, high blood pressure, and can even be linked to Uterine Cancer because of the exposure of high levels of estrogen. 

Luckily the symptoms I have experienced are mild compared to some cases. That being said, it doesn't mean that my symptoms don't make me miserable a lot of the time.  It's annoying having to remember to take medication and supplements 5 times a day, it's even more annoying waiting to see if the medicine I am taking is even going to help improve the symptoms I struggle with everyday. It's been 3 months since I started working with a hormone specialist and i'm just barely starting to see slight improvement in some areas.  It's really frustrating when you tell someone that your exhausted at 8:00 at night and they pretty much tell you to suck it up because no one can really be that tired when they got 8-10 hours of sleep the night before. A lot of the time these people don't know that i'm struggling and that there is a reason that I actually am exhausted and don't ever want to go out and do anything. But their words still sting a little.  It's scary not knowing if, when we decide to start trying to get pregnant, if it's even going to be possible for me.   I don't want people to feel sorry for me. I don't. I could be battling far worse things in my life. PCOS is common, and lots of women live with it. However, I do want people to know that there is a reason that I am tired, that sometimes I just need to stay home and go to bed, there is a reason I was acting like a raging mad woman, and there is a reason why even the slightest comment can hurt my feelings, make me cry, or send me straight in to an anxiety attack.  PCOS can be managed and most women can go about their daily lives. I'm working on getting there. At this time, I am doing all that I can to manage it. The point of this post was to lead in to my second New Years resolution which is focusing on my overall health. I need to tweak my diet. Most people with PCOS are finding that gluten free, dairy free, even the paleo diet is helping them drastically I need to figure out what works for me and makes me feel the best. I also want to exercise on a regular basis. Even just going for long walk. I don't want PCOS to control my life like I have let it for the last year and half. 

[[New Years resolution # 2: Be healthy.]]

Loving Myself

Last night I had a mini break down. I don't feel like i'm improving in areas that I have been striving to be better in. 

For the last year and a half I have struggled with my overall health. The last 6 months I have really declined.. because of this I am constantly tired and have no motivation to do anything. So last night as I was sorting laundry, John happened to walk in from work. I lost it. I cried and cried because all I wanted was to go to bed (it was only 7:30), but I knew I had to get some laundry done, we pretty much have no clean clothes, the dishes are piled up and i'm pretty sure our floor has not been swept in weeks. I was so frustrated. I wanted to get all these things done but my body was just telling me I couldn't. John was so sweet, he just wrapped me up in his arms and told me how much improvement HE thinks i've made, that he knows OTHERS have seen the improvements too.

That's all I needed..

 I know I am my biggest critic. I am too hard on myself. The things I am currently battling are out of my control, I need to remember this. I am doing my best. I am working on becoming healthy. There are some areas I need to "work" a little harder but I just needed a little reassurance. I'm so grateful that John got off of work earlier than usual because I needed him there at that exact time. 

He is such a wonderful husband. He is sensitive when I need him to be, he's patient, he's supportive, he loves me no matter what, and most importantly, he reminds me that I need to love myself. 

((New Years Resolution #1: Be positive and love myself.))

 “The only person who can pull me down is myself, and I'm not going to let myself pull me down anymore.” 

― C. JoyBell C.

Anniversary Weekend

Our original plans for our Anniversary were made back in November of last year when I found out that One Direction was going to be playing at the Rose Bowl on our 1 year anniversary. I mean come on.. Seeing One Direction was the perfect anniversary present for me :) Maybe not so much for John but I was stoked and bought tickets just minutes after they went on sale! 

After a few months had passed we discovered there were going to be some events that were going to interfere with our plans so we made the decision to sell our concert tickets to my mom to give to McKayla. Well... those plans fell through and since my mom and John didn't care to go to the concert we decided we would all go to California and make a trip out of it! Wahoo! But this meant that the night of our first year anniversary I would be spending with McKayla and John would be spending with my mom.

Since we wouldn't be able to spend our actual anniversary with just the two of us we decided to start our Anniversary weekend early by spending a night getting massages and staying at the anniversary inn.

The breakfast at Anniversary Inn is bomb.

The next morning we woke up and headed home to pack and get ready to fly to Cali with my mom and McKayla.

The first day John and I started out the morning having an anniversary date at the restaurant downstairs for breakfast. The rest of the day was spent by the pool and just relaxing since McKayla and I had a huge night ahead of us! I think I was more excited for this concert than McKayla was. We left my mom and John in Old Pasadena and we headed to the Rose Bowl on a shuttle with lots of excited girls! We even saw a group of girls crying from excitement on the shuttle.. I could tell McKayla was a little shocked that these girls were THAT excited for the concert.

I didn't realize how huge this venue was until we got inside. I have been fortunate enough that I have attended many concerts in my lifetime but I have to say One Direction was my favorite so far. They put on such a fun show and it was just a crazy fun environment. I'm pretty certain I enjoyed it more than McKayla and i'm not even ashamed to admit it!

Our last day was spent in Disneyland. John hadn't been since he was 8 years old so it was practically his first time again. It was a lot of fun. I love being married.. it makes these memories even more special for me.

Yes. I wore my One Direction shirt PROUDLY... along with all the pre-teen girls at Disneyland that day.

Next time you go to Disneyland and you're celebrating something get a button and show it off! It was so much fun having Disney employees wish us a Happy Anniversary everywhere we went!

We had such a fun anniversary. I can't wait to celebrate again next year!

The First Year in Photos...

Bear with me.. this post will probably be a bit long and full of pictures.. but I feel like once I get it posted I will finally feel caught up and can start posting about current happenings.. So without further ado, please enjoy some highlights of our first year of marriage!

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We had the pleasure of spending one of our first weekends as a married couple with some of our wonderful friends the Millers and the Butlers up at the Millers cabin. It was so beautiful up there. Poor John was so sick the first day, but it was still a blast. 

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 Our first Halloween.

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 First Thanksgiving.

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 Our First Christmas. It was John's first Christmas home since the mission AND our first Christmas being married.. so it was AWESOME.

We set up our bed in the living room Christmas Eve.. This may just become a tradition every year.

We wore these outfits to every Christmas party we attended. These ugly sweaters even won us a $50 gift card :)

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 We were called to be Primary Teachers. This was our first class. We had twelve 7 year olds. It was tough but so much fun. 

The following class we taught was the 4 year olds (I thought the 7 year olds were rough. ha.) We fell in love with those kids and then soon found out that our ward was splitting.. that was pretty devastating news but it has turned out to be just fine! We now teach the 10 year olds in our new ward.. so we've pretty much made the rounds in primary. I don't say it enough, but I am super grateful for our calling. Most the time if you ask me I probably say that it's super hard, and the kids drive me nuts, but I have learned SO much and I know that primary is exactly where I need to be.

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 December 30th John decided to cut his fingers open at work. He called me at work.. naturally I panicked and left early so I could go be with him. After a long 4 hours in the emergency room they stitched him up and were referring us to a specialist because John couldn't feel or move his right pinky. Turned out he had completely severed a tendon and a nerve in his finger and would need surgery and physical therapy to repair it. Of course Surgery was scheduled for January 6th (the first day of Spring semester) John was a champ and only missed a couple days of school. He recovered from surgery very quickly but had to go to physical therapy for a few months. Luckily his injury happened at work so he was able to file workers comp and was paid for these few months to just go to school and sit at home while he recovered.

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In March we took a super quick trip up to John's mission. We spent most of the time driving, so that we could see all the people and do all of the things John wanted to within 4 days. It was such a fun experience being able to meet people who John was able to get to know while he was away from home. He touched many lives and you could tell that every family we visited just adored him. I wish that we could have stayed longer but i'm sure we will make our way up there again soon. 

Portland Temple.

Columbia River Temple

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I was able to watch John throw the Javelin in a couple of Track Meets for Weber State. After a lot of thought he decided that last season was going to be his last. It was definitely fun seeing him throw and he was able to go to the Big Sky Conference in AZ.  

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Our First Easter. 

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In May we made a HUGE decision to trade in the Fiesta and buy a new car. I had nothing but issues with the Fiesta from January-March and I was so sick of taking it in to be "fixed" the problem was never resolved so we started looking at small SUV's. We originally had our hearts set on a Subaru but decided to stop at Mazda to take a look before we made our final decision. The salesman snatched us and asked us if we wanted to test drive a CX-5. We loved it but wanted to explore all of our options. We went straight to Subaru and we test drove the Crosstrek. It was nice... but I think both of our hearts were set on the CX-5. We may have been a little impulsive but that same night we went back to Mazda and bought us the cutest RED car. We absolutely love it. 

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In June, Leah coordinated a weekend that all of us friends could get together and go up to her families cabin. It was so fun to have all of us up there.. even Jared came from California. We had a blast reminiscing about our High School memories. I feel so grateful to have such awesome friends. We are really so lucky.

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 John and I had decided to just go to Park City for our Honeymoon and save up some money to do a fun trip this summer. So we celebrated what we called our "official Honeymoon" in Las Vegas and California. We spent 3 days in Vegas and then flew to California and spent 4 days there. We had so much fun and we were actually able to do a lot of fun things. If you ask John what his favorite part was he'd probably say playing Bingo in Vegas... We played every night. John actually walked away one night with $300 so it was totally worth it!

Newport Beach is my all time favorite. I could have spent our whole vacation hanging out there. 

We had originally planned to go to Disneyland this trip but after realizing how packed it was going to be we opted out. Instead we just spent one evening at Downtown Disney having dinner and posing with this massive Lego Hulk.

We spent the 4th of July at the Angel's game.

This hat was filled bottom to top with Nachos. It's actually quite gross if you think about it.. but they were delicious :)

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Anyone who knows my family knows that the 24th of July is spent up in Heber lounging around and spending time with Family. They set up the fireworks in Grandpas backyard, so we have front row seats! 

 There is no place I love more than my grandparents home. They moved up there the year I was born so i've spent many many weekends there and that's where most of my childhood memories were made.

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We celebrated the marriage of John's brother, Anthony and his awesome wife Rio. These two are perfect for each other. 

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 We ended the summer with Leah and Toanga up at Leah's cabin. We had a blast and it was the perfect ending to a fantastic summer! 

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I always hear "the first year is the hardest" but I don't think this first year was hard at all. Sure, we may have gotten on each other's nerves a few times but I wouldn't say it was hard. 

We have had some awesome things fall in to our laps this year and we were fortunate enough to be able to make all of the memories we did. 

How grateful I am to have such a patient, loving, easy-going husband. He is perfect for me. I can be extremely difficult to deal with most of the time but he loves me anyway.. and he is constantly reminding me of that. 

I am truly blessed.

September 12, 2013

John and I changed our wedding date probably six times before it was final. September 12 worked best because my brother Josh and his family would be in town from Kansas to run a race in Saint George that weekend.. I was not going to have my wedding without them there! It came so fast, although, that was completely expected seeing how our engagement was barely over a month. We were sealed for time and all eternity in the Salt Lake Temple at 11:40 AM surrounded by our family and our closest friends. It was beautiful, the morning could not have gone any smoother. As we were waiting at the bottom of the stairs to exit the temple all of the sudden I could see everyone's umbrellas go up. It started POURING. But the rain didn't even phase us. We were SO happy.. (sorry to all of our guests who had to stand in the rain and take pictures with us.. but thank you for doing it!) It rained the entire time we were taking pictures outside of the temple. As soon as we were done it, of course, cleared right up. 

 We headed straight up to the reception center. My mom and I made all of the decorations for the reception and I turned in to a bit of a control freak when it came to how everything was set up. Thankfully we had help from some friends and it turned out beautiful. I couldn't have imagined it any other way. Our day was perfect. It seems like it was over in just the blink of an eye! 

The rain brought us a double rainbow.. It was beautiful. 

My sister-in-law Joni made our wedding cake. She totally rocked it!

* Huge shout out to our photographer Annie Duckworth @ V-Photography. She's the bomb!